I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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