at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize