i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
