I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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