so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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