He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
