Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Randomize
