I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
