Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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