i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Randomize
