I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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