i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
this boner is exhausting
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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