Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
