we're blogging at a bar
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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