How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Let's paint friendship bongs
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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