She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
