I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
