went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
