oh god the rape fog is back!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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