if you like me you must not know who I am
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
