i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
