I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
