you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
