I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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