Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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