its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
