Sry I called you an 8
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
