why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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