Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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