Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
love makes seman taste better
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
