She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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