I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
