There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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