Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
this is an emotional support booty call
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
