so that wasnt chicken after all
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
How's work?
Spinning.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
