Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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