So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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