She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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