id be glad to
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
