You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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