Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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