Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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