I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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