you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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