I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
