The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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