He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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