Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
