I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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