even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
