What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
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her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
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I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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