Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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