Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
