What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
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2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
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I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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