Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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