Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
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