Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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